WHAT!?! Does this make any sense in the world???

Government officials take custody of a man's son...for what?? Three cheers for bureaucracy.



When I was younger (maybe 11 or 12), I used to like "Mystic" fruit drink, which came in a bottle. On a road trip, my mom went and bought what she thought was Mystic fruit drink (similar bottle and color). After having some, and reading the label, I realized it was an alcoholic cooler. So she told me to stop drinking it and I did. The situation worked out and--while it must be difficult for Michigan Child Services to comprehend--nobody had to be taken into custody!

Interesting Article

Another example of how short-sighted the government can be. It probably sounded good to them at the time...now it seems the true effects of ethanol standards are playing out in the market.

America's Worst Cook: The Contest!

Hey friends!

Ever want to co-star in a video with me? No?? WHAT!!! Well, anyway, check out my new video...it kicks off a new contest--the search for America's Worst Cook! Check out the contest and the new video (below).

The video stars world-renowned cook and television personality, Howard Helmer! Howard holds multiple Guinness World Records--he's the world's fastest omelet maker!

And if you would like, visit the site and co-star with Howard and me in this rap video!

Tax Freedom Day!

Today is Tax Freedom Day! The Tax Foundation calculates that today is the day of the year we finally stop sending our income to the government, and begin to actually KEEP the money we earn!

Here's a song about it!

The Key to the Caps' Success?

Down two goals? No problem! How 'bout them Caps!! How do they do it???

Well, I think I figured it out today.

Game 1 giveaway: Red towels. WIN!
Game 2 giveaway: Red tassel-thingy. (loss)
Game 3 -- Watched on TV (loss)
Game 4 -- Missed game while performing. (loss)
Game 5 giveaway: Red headband. WIN!
Game 6 -- Watched game while wearing red headband and red towel. WIN!

I think I have found the key to the Caps' success: The presence of absorbent red fan giveaways!

Three cheers for absorbency! Hopefully tomorrow will be red chamois night at Verizon Center! See you there!

Game 6!

Don't Stop Believin'! Still!

The Caps fought off elimination on Saturday--and what a great atmosphere at Verizon Center! It got all sorts of loud!

Game 6 is tonight in Philly. I've got my tickets to Game 7--and I plan to use them. As does Tim Russert. Here's a clip from the end of Sunday's "Meet the Press":



Let's go Caps!!

Danica Patrick Wins!

Some folks said it would never happen, others said it was a matter of time. Congrats to Danica Patrick on her first IRL victory!

I came across this column, which raises a number of potential asterisks, but as far as I'm concerned, it's as much a win as any other race. She's been running up front (with the rest of the Andretti-Green cars), and that's how races are won. If you run up front, the wins will come. Yes, there was a fuel mileage situation involved, but fuel strategy is part of racing. Plus it wasn't as if her team was taking a gamble. They made an effort to save fuel and, in the end, it worked out.

I see the author's point...but that's racin'!

Red-Out

Don't Stop Believin'!!

What a great atmosphere for the Caps' first playoff game in five years! I was always a big fan of the "White-Out," where all the Caps fans would wear white, but I think I may have been converted to a proponent of the "Red-Out" after tonight.

My entire section spent most of the third period on their feet--jumping, yelling and cheering on the Caps! What a great comeback effort! Hopefully the rest of the series will look like that third period.

Man...down 2-4 in the third period and winning 5-4...BELIEVE!

Thanks for the Ratings!

Thanks for all your ratings on the new video! It peaked as the #1 Top Rated Comedy video on YouTube the day it was released solely because of your kind ratings! Thanks so much!

And thanks to The Law Offices of Hyde, Price & Scharks!!

New Video: The Law Offices of Hyde, Price & Scharks

Just posted it this morning, hope you like it!

Samsung 500

Anybody see today's race? Anybody else find it pretty boring? Or maybe it was just that I've been spoiled by two weekends of short track racing.

I can't make up my mind about the new car. On one hand, I don't think it has delivered on providing closer racing--I can't think of many captivating position battles from earlier today. Even Jimmie Johnson--who finished 2nd--complained about the car on tracks like Texas.

But on the other hand, the safety features on the new car helped Michael McDowell survive this horrific crash during Friday's qualifying session:



Hopefully there will be better racing next weekend!

Don't Stop Believin'!

Believe!

The Capitals were faced with increasingly unlikely scenarios throughout the season, but ultimately proved that hard work and believing in yourself pays off in the end. They now, deservingly, find themselves in the NHL playoffs as DIVISION CHAMPIONS!

Prior to yesterday's game, I was blasting Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" over and over. Don't laugh!!

I can't even count how many articles I read over the course of the season discrediting the Capitals' chances. "Power Rankings" throughout the season--even down the stretch--wouldn't even include the Capitals in the top 15! And, my personal favorite, those commentators who claimed that "if the Capitals' record isn't good enough to qualify for the playoffs, Alex Ovechkin shouldn't be MVP." The Caps were going to end 5 games out of first place in the conference at the end of the season (regardless of if they made the playoffs or not) after starting the season 6-14-1 and firing their head coach. They made the run under the effective guidance of Bruce Boudreau, a great team effort, including the exceptional play of Ovechkin.

I'll see you at Verizon Center! LET'S GO CAPS!!!

The Pregnant Man

Just saw this article on the buzz surrounding "the pregnant man." Am I the only person in the world who doesn't get the hype??

So a lady has gender-altering procedure (hey, it's a free country!). The lady can still have a kid but is now, for legal purposes, a man. The lady/man has a kid. Media goes crazy with stories of how a man has a kid. MASS HYSTERIA ENSUES!!!

My favorite part of the article is how Yahoo searches for "oregon pregnant man" have increased 461% in recent weeks, begging the question--who was searching for that before??

I don't have documented proof, but I'd estimate that 100% of babies delivered in the history of the world were delivered by women (with the exception of Dateline's Chris Hanson, who is a high-tech robot from the planet "Awesome"). So, a quick note to the media: if something's giving birth to kids, it probably has a uterus.

Lets Go Caps!!!

81 games played, and one to go!!

Last night's game was incredible! The Caps didn't look too great in the second period, but played great hockey overall! Tonight, we watch the scoreboard!! Check out the Washington Post's potential playoff scenarios. The Caps need to win on Saturday, and will need some help, but hopefully their hard work will pay off with a trip to the playoffs!

Ovechkin for MVP!!!